University Vegetarians

This is a post I wrote on my personal tumblr the other day. I was feeling feisty I guess. It’s a joke of course, so I hope everyone enjoys it. -Joel (one of UV’s Media Managers)

greatmindsthinkalikeme:

I could say what’s been said by a million vegans/ vegetarians, a million times over: “Cows are just as cute and smart as dogs, don’t eat them. Meat is murder!”

But I won’t. I think it’s due time to up the ante and say, if you love f@#%ing meat so god d@$n much, why don’t you man up and eat your f@#%ing dog. That’s right. Eat your dog. What’s so great about dogs anyways. They tear up your stuff, secretly urinate all over the house, dry hump your guest’s legs. When was the last time a cow took a s#^t in your room? Why should they be punished? So, roast your Rat Terriers, deep fry your Dalmatians and barbecue your Beagles! They’ve had it coming.

Either that or become a vegan. Seriously. There is no point in saying how cute cows are, because no one is going to start playing fetch with Bessy in the living room, but you should realize your warped view of animals. If you hung a dog upside down and cut it’s neck on either side to bleed it out, you’b be surprised as to how similar that would look to the way your hamburgers and steaks are made.

Go Vegan (or start eating dogs).